Put a HALT to Compulsive Behavior with these 4 Simple Reminders

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Both of my parents were alcoholics. Although science says that I am genetically predisposed to the same, I am not one. I do struggle with addictive and compulsive behaviors, however, as part of my Bipolar Disorder. My addictions are nicotine and caffeine. My chosen compulsive behavior is overeating.

Let me share a little secret with you. I love food, and I love to eat. I love to sit around a table with good friends and family, share fantastic food and vibrant conversation, and enjoy the company of people I love. To be perfectly honest, I rarely ever get physically hungry.

I’m also going to be brutally honest about the fact that at this moment in time, I have no desire or intention to give up either smoking or coffee. That will come in time. For purposes of this article, I am only going to speak about how being aware of these triggers helps a person to control their addictions, or helps a recovering person keep away from those things that may cause a relapse.

Let’s talk about our addictions and compulsive behaviors, and how to put an immediate HALT to them. HALT is an acronym that can be attributed to Alcoholics Anonymous. There are several slogans available to those who work a 12-Step program such as A.A. Most of you are familiar with, “One day at a time,” “Keep it simple,” and, “Easy does it.” HALT is the one with the greatest meaning and value to me. It means to never get too:

H-ungry A-ngry L-onely T-ired

So, I’m going go through each of these point by point. By the end, if you struggle with addiction or compulsive behavior, you may have a much greater understanding of how to put a stop, or rather a HALT to it.

Hunger is an awful thing. While I do intend to address the issue of physical hunger, the main point I’m making is about emotional (spiritual) hunger. Many of us aren’t aware that the reasons we often turn to addictive or compulsive behavior is to fill a hunger we aren’t able to name . Desperation to make the shame, pain, fear, frustration, inadequacy, or anxiety we may be feeling go away forces us to stuff it. We do that with food, drugs, booze, and a plethora of other things.

But , actually feeling sated as far as physical hunger is concerned helps to keep us from that sort of desperate feeling. Occasionally, your body does just really need food . The emptiness of physical hunger inadvertently creates that desperation that we struggle to fight off with whatever happens to be our drug of choice. The reason is that in our society these days, few of us experience actual physical hunger.

When a person is physically hungry, their blood sugar may be low. Lowered blood sugar levels lead to feelings of lightheadedness, weakness, and sometimes even fear. We are, in general in our society today, well fed. On the off chance that we do find our bodies reacting because we haven’t fed them appropriately, we have a hard time putting a name to it, leading to our attempts to fill a hunger we – again – aren’t able to name.

So, the next time your stomach growls or you feel slightly lightheaded, and aren’t able to figure out why, think back to when you had your last meal. Maybe you really are just hungry. Grab a snack, or have a meal if it’s that time. That desperate feeling will go away and you’ll feel a little more normal and stable and ready to face the world without altering your consciousness or reacting compulsively.

Anger is difficult to manage. Now, isn’t that the understatement of the century! The reason for this is that our culture frowns on the physical expression of anger, and even the verbal expression of such. So, what most of us do when we’re angry is find a way to bottle it up tight, and hide it in a forbidden spot inside our soul. That might be okay for a while, but anger has an effervescent nature when it’s bottled. It begins to bubble, and the stopper that we used to bottle it up begins to loosen. Eventually, what’s in the bottle explodes, but it does it on the inside of our souls.

The rage needs to be quelled. We need to put out the fire that’s lapping at our insides. So we reach compulsively for whatever will do that – the booze, the pills, the needle, the food, etc. That anger will destroy no one around us. But, we will destroy ourselves because of it, and never be any the wiser that we’re doing so. So, avoid it if at all possible. If it’s not possible (and let’s be honest, sometimes we all get angry), find a productive outlet for anger. Sublimate the energy if necessary, or step back just long enough to be able to express it articulately, gently, and in a way that resolves the original issue.

Loneliness is something every one of us will encounter at some point, whether we are in a relationship or not. There is a part of us that is hidden from the world, and often we reach out to be connected, only to find that no one meets that need. Or, we simply live alone, and come to an empty house or apartment at the end of a day to deal with a sudden void that surrounds us and reminds us of our solitude. I’ve written elsewhere that solitude for a portion of the day is a must to maintain good mental health, and I stand by that.

But, I also believe that loneliness can overwhelm us occasionally and make us fear that we have lost our connection to the world. That feeling of floating nebulously into nothing is frightening, and can be very real to those who are experiencing it. It’s a physical feeling of smallness in an infinite universe; a feeling that no one is aware of our existence or concerned with it. So we reach out to numb that fear and feeling of smallness. We reach out to whatever compulsive behavior or drug of choice that will force those feelings into the oblivion in which we feel we are lost.

My suggestion is to reach out to loved ones. Reach out to friends, family, or to the God of your understanding to comfort you in your loneliness. This will remind you that you are not alone. As empty and void as our world can feel sometime, there is someone there for us, who will comfort us. Whether they are able to completely dispel the feeling isn’t the issue, but it will certainly help to take the edge off that feeling of total aloneness. Often, these folks may not know what to say, but their presence alone is enough to keep us from going over the edge.

There is little that any of us can do in the 21^st century to keep ourselves from getting tired. Most of us are moving at speeds exceeding realistic from the minute we wake up in the morning, until we get into bed at the end of the day. I think the most important thing a person can do is to stop – seriously, just STOP – at some point during the day. If you recognize that you’re engaging in compulsive behavior or craving something that you’re addicted to, it could very well be that you need to rest. Rest is mandatory for those of us who behave compulsively. Sit for a while with your eyes closed, or curl up for a short nap. Give yourself a chance to renew your strength and energy.

The reason is that we often find ourselves moving through our day like little robots. Mechanically, we go through our workdays, we come home and make dinner, drive our kids here and there, comfort our spouses and children, and then prepare to do it all again the next day. We may not even recognize that before the day is half over, we’ve burned through three quarters of the energy with which we began. The math is unbalanced, and hence, we are also. We reach out to our addictions, thinking that somehow they’ll add back the energy we’re expending. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. The only thing that adds back the expended energy is rest. Renew yourself with rest.

Put a HALT to your addictions and compulsive behavior. Take care of yourself. Eat when you’re hungry (and only then). Satisfy the physical needs that your body has so that you aren’t reaching out to fill a hunger that you can’t name. Fill the hunger you can name, and take on the world. If you get angry, don’t bottle it up. It will eventually explode in your own soul. Work through it constructively. Make it work for you, not against you. That loneliness you feel? You’re not alone in that. Reach out to others. Know that they may have been there as well. Let their presence help guide you back to feeling loved and included. If you’re tired, rest. Take a nap. Sit quietly with your eyes closed. Do whatever you need to do to STOP and renew yourself.

You’ll be amazed at how your world turns perfectly when you put a HALT to its wobbling.